Amrita Ahuja | Head of Senior School

In our ever-evolving and complex world, young people face challenges that demand strong problem-solving skills and resilience. Coaching, originally rooted in the world of sports in the mid-twentieth century, has emerged as a powerful tool for fostering self-awareness and personal growth. Today, coaching principles can be applied beyond workplaces, offering valuable strategies for parents and educators to enrich conversations with young people in their care.  

Prof. Christian van Niewerburgh, a leading expert in coaching and positive psychology defines coaching as ‘a one-to-one conversation that focuses on the enhancement of learning and development through increasing self-awareness and a sense of personal responsibility, where the coach facilitates the self-directed learning of the coachee through questioning, active listening, and appropriate challenge in a supportive and encouraging climate’.  

For parents and educators, adopting a coaching approach fosters a process of self-discovery for young people through active listening, self-reflection, and collaborative problem-solving. This powerful tool helps them cultivate self-awareness as they explore their thoughts and feelings. By employing effective questioning techniques, we can assist children in developing a resilient mindset, encouraging them to reflect, reason, and take ownership of their decisions. 

Effective coaching conversations require practice, patience, and a thoughtful approach. Here are some  strategies to help create meaningful, supportive dialogue with young people: 

• Trust is integral for effective coaching. By practising non-judgmental listening, we create an environment where young people feel safe to express their thoughts and ideas freely, without fear of criticism. This sense of psychological safety encourages open communication, enabling them to share openly and engage in meaningful reflection and learning. 

• As adults, it’s natural to offer solutions when we see young people facing a problem. However, a coaching approach focuses on asking the right questions rather than providing answers. By posing open-ended, solution-focused questions, we encourage young people to explore different possibilities, weigh the pros and cons, and arrive at their own conclusions. This fosters independence and critical thinking. For instance, instead of giving advice, asking questions like, “What advice would you give a friend in this situation?” or “What options come to mind for solving this issue?” prompts problem-solving and deeper reflection. 

• Coaching conversations allow individuals to reframe setbacks as opportunities for learning rather than viewing them as failures. This approach is particularly powerful for those who struggle with perfectionism. By asking questions like, “What can you do differently next time?” or “What did you learn from this situation?” or “How can you be better prepared for this in the future?”, we help shift the focus from failure to personal growth. This mindset encourages resilience and continuous improvement, fostering a more positive and constructive approach to challenges. 

• Active listening plays a central role in facilitating insightful coaching conversations. Giving young people undivided attention and paraphrasing back what they share helps to build rapport and show that you care. Choosing a time and space conducive to listening makes young people feel heard and respected.  

• Empathy is essential to developing an emotional connection and helps young people feel heard, understood and valued. Asking questions such as, “How did this situation make you feel?” or “What emotions are you experiencing right now?” allows them to process their emotions in a safe space. This strengthens trust and improves self- awareness, allowing young people to become better at recognising and managing their feelings.  

In an increasingly unpredictable world, it’s essential that future generations feel confident in their ability to solve complex problems and make informed decisions. By adopting a coaching approach to conversations, parents and educators can empower children to explore their own thoughts and solutions within a safe, supportive environment that fosters confidence. This approach equips them with the skills and mindset needed to navigate uncertainty with resilience and assurance.